FRIDAY RANDOMS: Funniest Product Names | Ride UK BMX

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FRIDAY RANDOMS: Funniest Product Names

It’s Friday Randoms time and this week we thought it’d be a laugh to look back on some of the funny and clever names companies have named their products over the years, there’s a few quality puns and some brilliant wordplay. I’m pretty sure you’ll recognise a good few of these products below…


#1. Alone BMX – Peggy Mitchell Pegs.

If you’re from the UK you’ll know who Peggy Mitchell is, basically she’s the landlady of a bar named The Queen Victoria in Eastenders. Quality use of a pun from Alone BMX in this one!


#2. – Fit Vandlebar.

So you have Van Homan riding for your team and you need a name for a set of bars… Vandlebars is a bit of a no brainer really isn’t it? Quality wordplay by Fit Bike Co.


#3. – S&M Gay Bars.


This is possibly one of the funniest names you could have for a BMX product. Imagine just sitting there and thinking, “right that’s it! We’ll call ’em GAY BARS!” S&M Bikes have always been on form with their product names and this one is a classic.


#4. – Bonedeth Vibrator Seat.

Bone Deth have a variety of hilarious names for their parts from the Vibrator Seat to the Penetrator Cranks and every sexual innuendo in between. I’m always stoked to see what crazy name they’ve thought of for their next product too!


#5 – Primo Hemorrhoid Seat.

An absolute classic. I think if you ask most mid-schoolers what their favourite seat a possible 9/10 would say the Primo Hemorrhoid Seat is up there with the best. Just the name itself gives me a sore arse, but it was one of those seats which helped with bars due to the grippy sides. Such an iconic piece of seating equipment.


#6. – Maxxis Holy Roller.

No idea why I’ve put this one in to be honest, just thought it was a pretty clever play on words for this tyre from Maxxis.


#7. Primo Tenderizers.

These legendary Primo Tenderizer pedals came in many different options, you had the loose ball bearing or sealed aluminium version. The same options in magnesium (which I stupidly ran for street and destroyed within an hours ride) and the Super Tenderizers which were basically a big, beefier version of the originals. The name probably originated from a meat tenderizer and what they’d do to your shins if you slipped a pedal. Still got many scars from these babies…


#8. S&M Redneck Stem.

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE in our crew had one of these back in the day. Either it was the O.G S&M Redneck or the XLT version, but it was a beefy chunk of 6061-T6 alloy which looked the part and did the job for many riders before weight saving was a fad in BMX.


#9. BSD Donnasqueak Tyres.

Alex Donnachie’s signature BSD tyres have to be up there, I mean the name Donnasqueak suggests fun right away, doesn’t it? You wanna get a pair and make ’em squeak! Brilliant name and I’ve rode a set for a while now and they’re probably the best tyres I’ve owned to be honest. Can’t fault em!


#10. S&M FU Bars.

S&M dropped the Charlie Crumlish‘s signature FU Bars a while back and I’ll have to say it’s a great play on words. BMX FU is dope, these bars feel great to ride too I’ve rode with a pair before and they were sweet.



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