5. Incredible grippy jar opener

Hmmm, opening jars like a women of around 90? Feeling embarrassed when a lady asks you to open her pickled eggs? Starving to near death because the lid on your hot dogs just won’t budge? It’s time to get a grip, LITERALLY. Keep a section of old tube in your cutlery drawer ready to offer that damsel in distress a hand with her chutney. Simply wrap your device around the lid, throttle the excess like you’re choking a greedy squirrel and feel the pressure lift with consummate ease as the waft of stout vinegar enters the room. Success in an instant, and hey don’t forget to wash your organ in the sink, because you’re getting laid tonight. You hero.

6. Height of fashion London waist coat

Are you someone who’s serious about fashion? perhaps you’re an avid snooker player! or someone who simply wants to look great in Church on a Sunday. Tubes have got you covered with this height of fashion London waist coat. Easy to manufacture and will last wedding after wedding, with the odd funeral thrown in for good measure. Tube rubber will not perish, this is a styled garment for life. You may even wear it to your own wedding and funeral! Imagine that, rubber up punters it’s time to hit the catwalk and reign in that pussy.